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These Addams Men, Where Do You Find Them? (It Has To Be Damp) [MCR/Addams Family] - Saint Street

speaks in asides posting in Saint Street: A place for writing to die
User: saintstreet (posted by plumtastic)
Date: 2007-09-11 16:07
Subject: These Addams Men, Where Do You Find Them? (It Has To Be Damp) [MCR/Addams Family]
Security: Public
Tags:addams family xovers, bandom, crackfic, crossover, mcr, wednesday addams
Title: These Addams Men, Where Do You Find Them? (It Has To Be Damp)
Fandom: Bandom (MCR/Addams Family)
Author: zeplum
Rating: E for everyone
Pairing: None really, but a hint at the end.
Notes: General crack inspired by a comment beteween apetslife and wax_jism in a Mikey Way birthday picspam, once again teaching that inspiration can be found pretty much anywhere. I went off Addams Family Values and tried for the best grown-up Wednesday I could [see previous entry for more]. Writing the boys is still a work in progress, as always.





She's in one of her business classes when it happens.

The girl sitting next to her -- or more accurately, two seats over in the lecture hall, because no one ever sits next to Wednesday -- leans over and asks, "Hey, do you know My Chemical Romance?"

Wednesday just stares and tamps down on the urge to say full of false brightness, "Yes, from the t-shirts you wear every day!" They appear to be some sort of band, and despite their intriguing name, Wednesday has never paid much attention to the music her classmates seem to prefer. Wednesday likes to believe that there's less bloodshed that way. Instead, she non-committally stammers an "Um, maybe?" and waits to see where this is going.

"Because you really, really look like you're related to Gerard Way." The girl -- kohl-rimmed eyes and hair as dark as Wednesday's (but with tell-tale blonde roots) -- Harmony, seems emphatic.

Wednesday has learned from one too many family reunions that sometimes it's best to placate the insane, and Harmony thankfully doesn't notice the facial tic. "Um, that's nice."

"Yeah," Harmony breathes, a dreamy look on her face. "He's gorgeous."

And apparently looks a lot like Wednesday. Huh.

Wednesday is blessedly grateful that after that, their professor finally decides to stop flirting with his teaching assistant and start class.

::


Being an Addams does not preclude one from indulging in technology. Yes, her father and uncle tear around the countryside in Gomez's vintage Aston Martin (complete with James Bond style ejection seat, though this one really is powered by a bomb), and Wednesday and her brothers were always picked up by Lurch in the family Duesenberg, but as Wednesday has found since entering college, Google is your friend.

She types in 'My Chemical Romance' and spends the next hour and a half going from page to page, site to site researching her long lost cousin and his apparently highly successful band.

Of course he's an Addams -- not of the main line, but Wednesday clearly remembers Gerard and his younger brother Mikey at reunions and weddings and executions throughout most of her childhood. Gerard was always nice to talk to; they even had a very nice, if somewhat awkward chat at Fester's wedding to Debbie.

*


"Isn't that your boyfriend?" Gerard asked, pointing to where Morticia was leading Joel inside the house.

"Maybe. If he survives."

Gerard just looked at her and smiled, a little lopsided and a lot unsure. Wednesday understood, and patted him on the shoulder lamely. He was a second cousin, and of the New Jersey branch of the family. Her mother had always said they were a little strange -- something about having swans on the dining table.

But Morticia and her cryptic smile emerged with Joel a few minutes later.

"Not enough time for bodily harm."

"Pity," Wednesday confirmed, eyes narrowing. "Possibly mental torture?" Not like she and Joel hadn't had enough of that all summer.

"Hey, where’d Mikey go?"

"He's looking at the gravestones." She nods to their left, where Mikey was slowly making his way through the rows of stones.

"Look, Gee, they're all family!"

"Oh, Mikey."

The look of fondness on Gerard's face warmed Wednesday's heart. She hated that.

*



But looking through more recent photographs, Wednesday can clearly see that Gerard is still looking after his younger brother. Even while groping him.

Yes, definitely Addams men.

She emails the picture to her mother who is also appreciative of certain current technologies. Namely, internet shopping. Personally, Wednesday thinks that Morticia has formed a crush upon the UPS man and his little shorts.

Morticia calls later that evening.

"Yes, those are your cousins. Look at what nice boys they've grown up to be." If it had been anyone else besides Morticia Addams, it would've sounded like a compliment. From her mother, it was just laced with a certain amount of pride and confusion.

"Mikey and Gerard, such interesting names -- then again, that side of your father's family has always been a little different. But I do like Gerard's sense of the theatric! You must tell him that when you see him."

"See him?"

"Oh, yes, I've already arranged it all. Dementia knows someone who knows someone, and of course we're family, and so we arranged for a ticket one of their concerts and a backstage pass!"

Wednesday blinks, tries to come up with something to say in the face of her mother's outpouring of glee? Wednesday's very nearly close to whining when she's finally able to speak. "But why?!"

"Cousin Aphasia's annual party, of course! The whole family will be there, and I need you to hand deliver the invitations. Remember, family first!"

Resisting the urge to groan, Wednesday asks, "Who are you, and what have you done with my mother?"

::


Morticia has been talking for years about never having enough time, now Wednesday wonders if the dark forces and hellish crusades her mother is always pining after is really code for tea parties and hat shopping.

But Wednesday had enjoyed the concert, and though the entire room had been filled with people that looked very much like Harmony, she'd felt almost accepted. It was nice. She's trying very hard not to smile.

She's escorted through the winding hallways quickly, and then suddenly a door opens and she's announced. "Hey, Gerard, you've got family!" A large hand lands on her back and she's thrust into a room with five very sweaty men.

Oh yes, her mother definitely should have done this herself.

Gerard is the first to turn around and looks curiously at her. She knows the feeling, it's a little strange to look at one's self outside of a mirror.

"Wednesday?"

She can't help it. Wednesday raises a hand in a tentative wave. "Hi." She is so not prepared for the hug and lift and twirling that follows, first from Gerard, and then as soon as she's on her feet again, from Mikey.

"Hey, I didn't know you guys had a sister," one of the guys -- Bob, she thinks -- asks.

"She's our cousin, Wednesday Addams."

"We haven't seen you since Fester and Dementia's wedding!"

Her first good look at Mikey reveals that the glasses and unfortunate hair are gone, and now with the eyes and kohl and new hair, he really does look like an Addams. Gomez and Morticia would be so happy.

"I know. The family lost touch, but Cousin Aphasia is having her annual gathering and I've been ordered to invite you."

The short one, Frank, snorts at that. Wednesday, not affronted, merely wishes she had done the same and had never gotten in this mess in the first place. Though it is nice to see her cousins again.

Gerard merely nods and smiles that same crooked smile from years before. She can feel her heart starting to warm. Dammit, how does he do that?

"Do we need dates?"

"Uh, no --"

"Because I was going to ask if you were seeing anyone, and if not, then --" Gerard swings an arm out to the room where the rest of the band are sitting, watching the family exchange intently.

"Oh." Oh.

And that's when the one with the hair, the one with the thighs (Wednesday, as much as she might hate to admit it, is her mother's daughter), steps forward to say hello. And shake her hand.

"I'm Ray."

"My father would be offended that you didn't kiss my hand --"

"Oh, I'm sorry."

"-- But I don't mind. At all."

Gerard makes her heart melt, Mikey makes her feel protective and Ray makes her nervous. Wednesday is in serious trouble.

"I'd like to take you to the party, if that's all right. Gee's family is always fun."

"You haven't met this side, yet," Mikey tells him, clapping a hand over his shoulder.

"Still. Hey, are you okay?"

Gerard, who has stepped back to allow Ray and Wednesday something approaching a moment, starts to laugh. "Yeah, she's fine. She's just trying to smile, she's not used to it."

Indeed, the last time she smiled may have been when Amanda was tied to the stake and Camp Chippewa was in flames. Ah, good memories.

"We'll just have to work on that." Ray has no problems smiling, or in fact, beaming.

Yes, very much in trouble.


-end-







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PATHETIC ATTEMPT AT ROBOT SODOMY
User: nova_bright
Date: 2007-09-12 00:43 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
This is horrifyingly, terrifyingly right.
Ray/Wednesday = my new OTP!

And now, quickly, to re-read!
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speaks in asides: MCR - helena's processional
User: plumtastic
Date: 2007-09-12 01:46 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Keyword:MCR - helena's processional
Hee!

Ray/Wednesday = my new OTP!

They do make a rather interesting mental picture. :)
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my heart skips around when I hear the sound
User: darksylvia
Date: 2007-09-12 00:45 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
AWESOME. What a perfect idea for a crossover! I love how you've written college!Wednesday.

Wednesday likes to believe that there's less bloodshed that way.

Bwahaha.
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speaks in asides: MCR - helena's processional
User: plumtastic
Date: 2007-09-12 01:44 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Keyword:MCR - helena's processional
I had a little practice at writing her before, getting the background down when I wrote a little "Dean Winchester Meets Wednesday Addams" thing a few weeks ago. She's just a lot of fun to write, and trying to get the Addams tone down is a nice little challenge.

I'm so happy you enjoyed the story! Thank you!
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Your Hymen is Incorrect, Sir.: Gerard
User: ficsoreal
Date: 2007-09-12 00:47 (UTC)
Subject: :),
Keyword:Gerard
This is crack!fic of the best kind. It made me smile.
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speaks in asides
User: plumtastic
Date: 2007-09-12 01:40 (UTC)
Subject: Re: :),
Thank you!
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speaks in asides: MCR - gerard loves us
User: plumtastic
Date: 2007-09-12 01:40 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Keyword:MCR - gerard loves us
Heh, proposals due to fic are always the best. :)

I think Wednesday might've taken up permanent residence, but I'm not sure where she's going to bound next. Never would've figured her for a Little Black Dress, but whatever, the pull of Ray Toro could be mighty enough to overcome!

Is it wrong that in my head Harmony is from the Whedonverse or was that intentional?

I went with Harmony since the evil Amanda in Family Values was played by Mercedes, and it had a nice symmetry to it. Or something. :)
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Gummo Bergman's "Silent Strawberries": MCR - Gerard says hi
User: marginaliana
Date: 2007-09-12 00:52 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Keyword:MCR - Gerard says hi
Oh my god this is disturbingly perfect.

She's just trying to smile, she's not used to it.

Ahahahahaha! Priceless.
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speaks in asides: MCR - here to save
User: plumtastic
Date: 2007-09-12 01:32 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Keyword:MCR - here to save
That image of Christina Ricci trying to smile to freak out the evil ones will never, ever fade. Bless.

Thank you!
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We Can't All Be Space Furries: rogue
User: natacup82
Date: 2007-09-12 00:59 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Keyword:rogue
OMG you win. Now I need to go dig out the Addams Family DVDs. :)
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speaks in asides: MCR - band awesomeness
User: plumtastic
Date: 2007-09-12 01:30 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Keyword:MCR - band awesomeness
Mmm, yes, an essential part of the good life. :)
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Cody: Fangirling
User: mercurybard
Date: 2007-09-12 01:07 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Keyword:Fangirling
Hee!

*does a little dance of glee*

And the New Jersey branch of the family has swans on the dining room table!

And Wednesday/Ray...interesting.
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speaks in asides: sauntering
User: plumtastic
Date: 2007-09-12 01:27 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Keyword:sauntering
I will never, ever be able to get over the swans. I mean, how does that surpass the bat paperweight, and yet it does!

Wednesday and Ray came about because Ray is awesome and I seem to always forget about him. And she's related to Gee and Mikey, and even the Addams kids don't go there. And Frank's with Gerard and Bob, well, I'll make it up to him. *g*
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User: shoemaster
Date: 2007-09-12 01:12 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Keyword:Gerard smile
oh man. Ray Toro/Wednesday Addams? YES PLEASE. Also, I would love to see the whole band at that reunion, no lie. I love the hints at Addams family life, too.
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speaks in asides: MCR - gerard loves us
User: plumtastic
Date: 2007-09-12 01:23 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Keyword:MCR - gerard loves us
Also, I would love to see the whole band at that reunion, no lie.

I think Frank would have entirely too much fun. And Gerard would get way too many ideas for the next tour's theme. Oh my.


Good man, Ray Toro! *g*
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Don't look at me, I voted for Charles F. Ofdensen: A New Level of Awesome
User: civilbloodshed
Date: 2007-09-12 01:31 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Keyword:A New Level of Awesome
Tea parties and hat shopping! AMAZING! I can't tell you how much glee this fills me with, my cup doth overflow.
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speaks in asides: it always starts with the apple
User: plumtastic
Date: 2007-09-12 21:43 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Keyword:it always starts with the apple
Oh, how I worried about that line. But yay for the glee! And thanks so much!
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BF575 .S75 W555 1997
User: book_of_calm
Date: 2007-09-12 01:56 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
This is all the more hilarious when you take into account Gerard's thing for/about Christina Ricci. Was that Gerard? Unless I am totally wrong, but I seem to remember some interview with him talking about it. Sometime. Um. *scratches head*

I smiled so hard that it kind of hurt a little, although I have far more practice than Wednesday. This is such a perfect crossover. It almost makes a bizarrely scary kind of sense, even.
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speaks in asides: lampshade girl
User: plumtastic
Date: 2007-09-12 21:45 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Keyword:lampshade girl
It is Gerard, and I just took it mentally into account and kind of ignored it practically for the sake of how the crossover was working out, but yes.
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She manufactures illusions...
User: wordsalone
Date: 2007-09-12 01:57 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
And that's when the one with the hair, the one with the thighs (Wednesday, as much as she might hate to admit it, is her mother's daughter), steps forward to say hello. And shake her hand.

Wednesday cannot resist the power of Toro's thighs. They're magical. *nods*

I loved this fic so much! I was obsessed with the Addams family when I was younger. I wanted to be Wednesday. I wanted her family to be my family. I wanted to live in her house, inflict bodily harm upon people, and then laugh about it. I mean...yeah, I was a freak.

This was perfect.
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speaks in asides: MCR - band awesomeness
User: plumtastic
Date: 2007-09-12 21:47 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Keyword:MCR - band awesomeness
Wednesday cannot resist the power of Toro's thighs. They're magical. *nods*

They so, so are.

I'm glad you enjoyed the story! Thank you!
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Lovely Poet: Thighs Made of YAY!
User: lovelypoet
Date: 2007-09-12 09:18 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Keyword:Thighs Made of YAY!
*adds Ray/Wednesday to the list of truly awesome things that happen when people obey Ray's request and don't make him have sex with his bandmates*

This... Jeez, this is so completely, unbelievably perfect. I have NOTHING I can say beyond a lot of E's follow by a lot of !'s.

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speaks in asides: toasted
User: plumtastic
Date: 2007-09-12 21:50 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Keyword:toasted
things that happen when people obey Ray's request

Hee! I always end up with Ray is a mental afterthought, which sucks because I clearly recognize how awesome he is and really, if anyone's a perfectly interesting match for Wednesday, it's Ray. Plus, I think Morticia would approve. Greatly. *g*

I'm so glad this made you happy. :)
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speaks in asides: MCR - band awesomeness
User: plumtastic
Date: 2007-09-12 21:52 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Keyword:MCR - band awesomeness
MCR at an Addams family reunion most definately has my vote.

I keep mentally trying to picture this, because you're right, it's so much fun. And then I see Ray and Cousin It and just kinda EEP! till I pass out. :)
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speaks in asides: lampshade girl
User: plumtastic
Date: 2007-09-12 21:42 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Keyword:lampshade girl
Aw, that's awesome! I'm glad the leap worked out!

MCR/Addams Family is so much win

Yes! Both creepy in an adorably cute kind of way. Like a basket full of kittens wearing black bows...or something.
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FairestCat: Mikey Way is Fucking Hot
User: fairestcat
Date: 2007-09-12 17:34 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Keyword:Mikey Way is Fucking Hot
Oh, this is just the best type of crack. Seriously, I am in LOVE.
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speaks in asides: sauntering
User: plumtastic
Date: 2007-09-12 21:40 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Keyword:sauntering
I hereby promise that I have no intentions of making Ray/Wednesday the new Lorne/Novak. Because no, one wacky dorky couple is enough in my repertoire.

But dude, I'm so glad you enjoyed it. Thank you!
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wyoluvr: achilles pissy bitch
User: wyoluvr
Date: 2007-09-12 19:27 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Keyword:achilles pissy bitch
you fucking hosebeast, i could not resist the improbable and cracked crossover! ::hates::
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speaks in asides: claudia gives the raspberry
User: plumtastic
Date: 2007-09-12 21:39 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Keyword:claudia gives the raspberry
Oh yes, love you too! Smoochies!

C'mon, you've known me for how long now? Crack is dangerous, especially when it's mine.

Will some Nicky/Greg/Sara make you feel better? *g*
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Eleanor Lavish
User: eleanor_lavish
Date: 2007-09-12 20:58 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
OF COURSE THEY ARE ADDAMS MEN! That is BRIL! Dude. Wednesday/Ray? How much shit does he get from frank and bob for dating gerard's lady doppleganger??
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speaks in asides: it always starts with the apple
User: plumtastic
Date: 2007-09-12 21:36 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Keyword:it always starts with the apple
Wednesday/Ray? How much shit does he get from frank and bob for dating gerard's lady doppleganger??

Hee, I know! Ray's possibly not-so-secret mancrush on Gerard finally pays off! Or something. And frankly, Morticia would just love him.
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master of karate and friendship
User: skoosiepants
Date: 2007-09-13 00:26 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
*laughs* this is so awesome! A brilliant idea :)
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speaks in asides: it always starts with the apple
User: plumtastic
Date: 2007-09-14 02:20 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Keyword:it always starts with the apple
Thank you! And coming from my own personal touchstone for the hilarious potential of bandslash, it's even more awesome.
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lily_liedtome
User: lily_liedtome
Date: 2007-09-15 20:46 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
You don't know me, but *glomps*

Seriously, I have so much love for you right now!

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a dull creature: drumming is the most fun
User: heartequals
Date: 2007-09-16 23:39 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Keyword:drumming is the most fun
Wednesday/Ray omg! It freaks me out how much that works!

Gerard and Mikey are for sure part of the Addams family. That makes me so happy!
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Me and my +1 at the afterlife: GCS Jilli
User: cupcake_goth
Date: 2007-09-17 17:26 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Keyword:GCS Jilli
This ... this is a thing of beauty. You don't know me; a friend pointed me at this. I am going to be re-reading it ALL DAY. And giggling. Love!
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hitchin: MCR: Frank is HAWT; XX
User: hitchin
Date: 2007-09-20 07:29 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Keyword:MCR: Frank is HAWT; XX
LOVE. SO MUCH LOVE.
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Saba: mikeyway
User: saba1789
Date: 2007-09-30 16:33 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Keyword:mikeyway
Hee, that was fun! I love Wednesday! Thank you so much for writing and sharing this :) .
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parhna
User: parhna
Date: 2007-10-06 05:07 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
Um, you're kinda brilliant. Because they totally ARE Addams men, why has this not been discovered sooner? I'm glad you were the one to have the epiphany though, because this is lovely, and Wednesday's voice is perfect.
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